


Matter of Hats

by Hawkwitch



Series: oneshots [5]
Category: Yes Minister
Genre: Gen, Humor, internal debate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-18
Updated: 2013-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-20 14:59:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/888612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkwitch/pseuds/Hawkwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim Hacker's viewpoints! (In plural!) Jim Hacker has an internal debate (this is a very heated one) on whether he makes a decision about making a decision in The Question of Loyalty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Matter of Hats

_Opening Statement: Honourable Chair, with my backbench MP hat on, which I have worn for past 20 years, I postpone my opening statement and recede the remaining time to the next speaker in the list._

_Opening Statement: Honourable Chair, with my Cabinet Minister responsible for The Department of Administrative Affairs hat on, I would like to make an opening statement that the situation is bad._

_Point of Personal Privilege: I need a hug!_

_Motion for a Moderated Caucus for 5 minutes with the speaking limit of 30 seconds: with one vote for and one vote against, this Motion clearly fails._

_Point of Personal Privilege: I want an ice-cream._

_Motion for an Unmoderated Caucus for 5 minutes: with two votes for and no votes against, this Motion clearly passes._

_We enter an Unmoderated Caucus for 5 minutes._

_The Prime Minister roasts me alive if I support the civil service viewpoint. If I back down on it then I have a slight glimpse of hope to gain favour and there may even be VOTES in it!_

_VOTES!_

_Point of Information: The Prime Minister is a douche and they say he appointed me to DAA because it is a political graveyard. He hates me because he is envious of my talents._

_But if I back down, then Humphrey gets very upset and starts blocking me again. Only downside there._

_Point of Information: Humphrey is the DAA jerk, who blocks all my wonderful proposals. But he does it anyway, really._

WHO SHOULD I BLAME FOR IT?! BERNARD PERHAPS?!

_Point of Information: Bernard is one very slippery eel._

_WHAT TO DO?! I WANT TO ABSTAIN ON THIS ISSUE!_

_Point of Personal Privilege: I am confused!_

_I have a Draft Resolution to propose that I do nothing like usually and something just comes up._

_Motion to Close Debate and put this proposal on a vote: with one vote for and one vote against, this Motion clearly fails._

_No, not this time! I must do something! I must act firm! Lead the way!_

_But I cannot do anything courageous!_

_I have a Draft Resolution to propose that I make a firm decision._

_Motion to Close Debate and put this issue on a vote: with one vote for and one vote against, this Motion clearly fails._

_We need a mediator to break the deadlock!_

_I have a Draft Resolution to propose that we involve Mrs. Annie Hacker as a mediator._

_Motion to Close Debate and put this issue on a vote: with one vote for and one vote against, this Motion clearly fails._

_Yes and no! At this stage it only increases my confusion, maybe later if we ever get there._

_The time limit for the Unmoderated Caucus ends in 10 seconds._

_..._

_We are back to the Formal Debate._

_Honourable delegate – with my Cabinet Minister hat on, I have a right to veto all your proposals._

_Honourable delegate – with my backbench MP hat on, I have a right to leave and the Verification of Quorum fails!_

_Point of Information: Backbench MP-s are windbags!_

_Right to Reply: My personal honour as a former backbench MP has been offended!_

_Point of Information: This debate somehow always reaches a deadlock and no decision is ever made... I do not fully understand why..._

_Motion to Drink: with two votes for and no votes against, this Motion clearly passes._

_Just like in The House of Commons, The Cabinet and most certainly in DAA we can at least all agree on something._

_FIN._


End file.
